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From the email I received: I didn’t even have the heart to go through the comments again, because just reading this and some of the people agreeing made me physically ill. Suffice it to say that several women spoke up about how this qualifies as domestic abuse, rape and other unacceptable things, and several MORE men made fun of the “radical feminists” and said that “in a relationship, people have to do things they don’t want to do, etc. etc.” I think the icing on the cake was when someone commented with “Im feminist and think this post is Completely accurate. Sure youre entitled to say no, but you should realize you do things, physically emotionally or materialistically, for your boyfriend.”

This kind of shit is totally mainstream and socially accepted (24 likes, y’all) and yet men get all shitty when women fear them as potential rapists.

A great example of why I will forever advocate for and enthusiastic consent model of sex education. But no, instead of things that could do good (like actually dismantle rape culture) American sex education includes shit like slut shaming and misinformation about contraception.

I have to rant about this because this is one of the things that pisses me off the most about men and relationships and is the reason why I primarily choose to stay single (not that anyone would want to date me, but that’s another story). Men often times are taught that the only time you should ever be nice to a girl is when you want her to suck your dick. The only time you should treat your woman like a queen by taking her out, buying her nice things, listening to her problems, or being there for her when she needs you is that you sincerely hope she’ll let you give her the D. THAT is what society is teaching boys! That is what we’re lead to believe! That women are not worth more than a fuck and if they don’t let you fuck them, then you shouldn’t treat them nicely! People who agree with the statement above should take a step back and review their life choices. Also, he’s is valiantly misinterpreting the concept of partners being equal and doing something they may not enjoy for the sake of their partner’s happiness. That is a common misconception. You should never force someone to go to a hockey game if they don’t like hockey. You should never make someone watch cheesy romantic films if you know it’s going to bore the hell out them. If they’re cool with doing stuff they don’t like just because they enjoy spending time with you, awesome, but you shouldn’t ever force someone to do something they don’t want to do just because “you’re in a relationship!” And that doesn’t constitute being a supportive ear for your partner! If you love someone, you REALLY FUCKING love them, you don’t care if they spend all day crying and complaining about something! You will make sure you are there to cheer them up in any way you fucking can, but if you’re only listening to your girlfriend’s problems in hopes that after she’s done bitching, she’ll take her pants off, then you need to fall back somewhere and she needs to leave your loser ass! This guy is literally the reason I don’t trust guys and I don’t want to date them. This status right here is just further proving my point that if we continue with all of this misogyny and allow people to behave in this way, we’re always going to be held back and abused by men! Fuck this guy and fuck all those people who think that this status is in any way correct. And I hope if this dude ever gets in a relationship, his girl sees this status and walks out on him. He’s a piece of shit who needs to get his act together. Fucker.

Women don’t owe men access to their vaginas. They have to earn that shit!

This post just angered me! Seriously if the guy wants sex then give him sex! It’s a good point, he doesn’t feel like doing crap for you all the time, but he does because e loves you, so u should give him what makes him happy because he loves you and you love him! I get so annoyed when girls flip out about how their boyfriend wants to have sex, I mean if you are a minor, it’s different, but I you are an adult, act like one and show your man that you care, just like he shows you tht he cares

^Am I reading a 1950s advice column for women? What a sad state of affairs when people are still recommending a “grin and bear it” approach in 2013.

Listen people, you should NEVER have to have sex because of coercion, obligation, or pressure. THAT IS A PROBLEM.

You do not grin and bear it. You do not continue to date someone who coerces you into sex. Coercion into sex with someone you do not want to have sex with is a form of rape. This is exactly what happened with one of my boyfriends. I didn’t even want to date him, but he and my best friend (at the time, ditched her ass because who does this?) kept pressuring me to date with him, because he was such a “good guy.” And I did it, though I did not want to. I had zero attraction to him. Once we were in a relationship the only way I could have sex with him was if I was drunk. The final meltdown happened when he sat me next to him on the edge of the bed, and gently re-explained to me that his past girlfriends would have sex with him however-many times a week, and that he expected the same from me. He guilted me into doing something I did not want to do. I tried though, to grin and bear it. I ended up a hyperventilating mass of tears and we broke up shortly after because ultimately, it was more important for him to have access to my body than for me to feel safe and comfortable. That’s not how relationships work. You do not guilt someone into giving you their body. That dynamic fucked me up for so long, and even now, I’m still occasionally triggered. 

It is not okay. It is not to be compared to getting you a birthday present, because a birthday present is an OBJECT. It is not to be compared to getting you dinner, because dinner is NOT A PERSON. You are a person, not an object, and are not to be treated as such. 

And why ruin your already lackluster sex life by making something so joyful and free seem like a goddamn chore.

Fucking selfish assholes.

And nobody asked you to buy them shit most likely. You CHOSE to do it, just like they have a right to CHOOSE when they wanna fuck your duck ass.

I think there is merit in occasionally giving your guy sex, even when you’re not super into it, but NOT because he asks for it, begs for it, etc. Rather because while you don’t feel like banging you still want to do it for them. Selfless, but still being the one to make the ultimate choice. Like thinking to yourself “wow, in not really horny at all right now, but he had a terrible day, I’m gonna show him how much he means to me” but there’s def a huge gap between what I’m talking about and what this post is talking about. It’s not an obligation, and it never should be.

This fucking bullshit!!

I want this

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